July 18, 2012 / 8:32AM 1 note

via fabulouslifeof:                 Or really at any time. This kiwi bird thing looks sort of like a deformed pigeon-penguin lovechild. It probably bites.                 But there’s now another force causing road hazards in New Zealand: prostitutes. They aren’t dancing in the streets or lining the road with tacks. They’re just trying to round up some business, like they usually do, working the pole. But poles inSIDE strip clubs are boring, and you have to fight off the other strippers to get your turn. Why deal with that shit when you can just walk out the door and wrap yourself around the nearest street sign? A little rust never hurt anyone.              Unfortunately, some of these whores are “big, strong people” (gender neutral?) according to a local city council member. And this causes the street signs to snap.               New Zealand needs to a) get better metal for their street signs b) stop breeding their people to be enormous, street-sign-snapping humans c) stop training sheep how to pole dance d) have kiwi birds guard the street signs d) all of the above.              Or they could just teach sharks to walk on land and eat people. Might be easier. today’s sign of the apocalypse for SURE

via fabulouslifeof:

                Or really at any time. This kiwi bird thing looks sort of like a deformed pigeon-penguin lovechild. It probably bites. 

               But there’s now another force causing road hazards in New Zealand: prostitutes. They aren’t dancing in the streets or lining the road with tacks. They’re just trying to round up some business, like they usually do, working the pole. But poles inSIDE strip clubs are boring, and you have to fight off the other strippers to get your turn. Why deal with that shit when you can just walk out the door and wrap yourself around the nearest street sign? A little rust never hurt anyone. 

            Unfortunately, some of these whores are “big, strong people” (gender neutral?) according to a local city council member. And this causes the street signs to snap. 

             New Zealand needs to a) get better metal for their street signs b) stop breeding their people to be enormous, street-sign-snapping humans c) stop training sheep how to pole dance d) have kiwi birds guard the street signs d) all of the above.

             Or they could just teach sharks to walk on land and eat people. Might be easier.

today’s sign of the apocalypse for SURE

Notes

  1. mollybierman reblogged this from fabulouslifeof and added:
    via fabulouslifeof: today’s sign of the apocalypse for SURE
  2. fabulouslifeof posted this
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