January 2012
ATTN: JUSTIN BIEBER IS CURRENTLY PERFORMING "LET...
via themattsmith:
Update your Bucket Lists accordingly
White Whine - A Collection of First-World... →
via whitewhine:
It’s been a fantastic year for First World Problems. Here are the 10 posts on WhiteWhine that you looked at the most.
#10 - Natural Disaster in Japan Causes MAJOR Pokemon Problems
#9 - Hawaii, Go Fuck Yourself
#8 - Proud To Be A (racist) American!
…
the best discovery of 2011
has come at 5pm on december 31
the gel manicure, y’all…it has changed my life
December 2011
cold case: unresolved mysteries of 2011
The whereabouts of 2 cell phones I lost on the night of April 15
The whereabouts of my certified birth certificate hiding somewhere in my room for the past 2 weeks (don’t worry Mom; I’ve ordered a replacement)
how, despite having done laundry for myself for the past 6+ years, I managed to dye 4 white shirts pink by washing them with a red pair of pants
why Jason Garrett iced...
1 tag
23 Bizarre Things Ceremonially Dropped on New...
via mentalflossr:
Image credit: Matt Smith/Express-Times /Landov
For example: A Peep.
2011 year in review
not much to see here, to be honest … 2011 was the first year in a LONG WHILE in which I did not:
move apartments
change jobs (aside from a promotion…although I do the same shit I have always done, just for more money)
experience another Serious Life Event e.g. graduating or having a child or something else similar
#1 and #2 are momentous for me because they mean I only have to...
1 tag
who needs ONE salad bowl??
Friends, this is your official Save the Date notice for the [names redacted] wedding. Because I am super on top of things, I have failed to order enough save the date cards (one of many errors already committed by me during this pain in the ass path to holy matrimony).
So, everything you need to know about the wedding is on the (partially-complete) wedding...
America's Vainest Cities | Time.com →
Where’s Dallas?? really now
miles finch
Liz: I like your tie.
Stewart: And I like aggressive women with a nerdy vibe. How about we grab some coffee and explore this?
“This is not class warfare. It’s math.”
– Obama (via aatombomb)
This kind of sums up 2011 in America for me.
(via soupsoup)
“It feels productive in a way — like I didn’t just come home drunk and pass out,...”
– Online Retailers Home In on a New Demographic - The Drunken Consumer - NYTimes.com
“so, not sure if this is a compliment or insult … but i was driving through...”
– my loving coworker… thanks Carolyn!?
“Not nearly enough seersucker or pastel colors over there for his liking”
– Kendall’s predictions of Kevin’s thoughts on India
“Yeah, I was kind of wondering, because I didn’t think you liked the color...”
– my mom’s reaction to my attempt at laundry where a pair of red pants dyed like 4 white shirts pink
3 tags
shit my dad says
me [sold my car when I moved to california]: hey, can someone drive me to a Walgreens or CVS at some point?
dad: you know, if I were the CEO of walgreens, I'd probably make the mascot, like, some kind of little walrus
1 tag
being home is great and all, but
yall, twin beds are (Jimmy McMillan moment here for a sec) too damn small! how did I sleep in these for like 20+ years!? I feel like I’m in a solitary confinement jail cell